Though oft I’ve felt that truly I have nothing left to give
That life’s an empty box that has ever closing lid
And all I have are dark reminders of the wretched things I did
I choose to live

Though oft I’ve seen my better moments draining through the sieve
Of frailty, fear, and fumbles that I try, but fail to rid
And though, for all the candles burning, shadows, still, are cast amid
I choose to live

Though oft I feel I’ve only matches when I need a bridge
And friend so often means a face that soon farewell will bid
And as I try to higher climb, you only see how far I slid
I choose to live

And though I’ve failures yet to come that many won’t forgive
And though I know my scars will never be forever hid
And though my best, to some, will still be met and married with “forbid”
I choose to live
I choose to live

Inspired by a line from “Gravity” by A Perfect Circle



I’d steal the sun to let you live a while
And lose the will to move to let you have another mile
But woes upon my shoulders
They cannot repair your smile
So the sun, it merely smolders
And we, motionless, remain in hushed denial

I’d burn the world to keep your heart from chilling
And brave the hurricanes in life to fix the pain you’re feeling
But seeking out tornadoes
Cannot stop your heart from stilling
Or repair your broken halo
So we watch the winter come, however willing

I’d break a million vows to save your promise
And wage a war of eons if it leads you where the calm is
But wounds of my endeavor
They cannot make you admonish
What was never mine to sever
So you slip away and still I act astonished

I’d die if just to know that you were living
And drown within our sins, however dark and unforgiving
But what I’d lose to save you
It cannot replace what’s missing
From the heart I never gave you
But I look into the sky, and all the same, continue wishing



Light was dancing with you
As a flower in a forest safe from time
Holos and reflections of the dream I still pursue
Forever deaf to the objections
That I seek an end that never would be mine

Shadows seem to tell me –
As they coalesce and gather to reveal
The tilted recollections of the world I wish to see –
That I invented new connections
Out of fantasies that never would be real

I was walking by you
Like a river in a desert running dry
Dunes of dead affection met the death of morning dew
Leaving maps of old directions
To a citadel of never in the sky

Light was there and growing
Like a blossom that tomorrow had in store
Bound for resurrection without any way of knowing
It was your impure perfection
That had led me where I’d never been before


Circle back to heaven on your wings of air and soar
To places I recall, for you and I were there before
Resting like a eulogy of hope that dared adore
As if an intersection where the sea and sun could share the shore

Drift into the wind as if a feather meant to fly
To consolations crafted like a letter sent reply
Held forever hovering as “whether” went to “why”
As exclamations made of you then punctuated the intent of I

Fall beyond the precipice that held your view to here
To places that are beautiful and skies are blue and clear
Made into the symphony I heard in lieu of fear
As if your words were an Elysium you granted me when you were near

Pull me through the shadows and the absent barren view
To valleys and to vistas long ago, for there we knew
The sky was never large enough to keep you where you flew
And all the same, I didn’t care as long as when you landed I was there with you


Let us not discuss
In such elaborate detail
The treachery of trust
When it’s ephemeral as lust
So let us never speak of what it might entail

What it never was
For we would choose to let it fail
When wouldn’t turns to does
Defended swiftly with “because”
With proclamations given strong for reasons frail

Words of who we are
Let us pretend we never said
Call we the other’s scar
The we that met, mere avatars
Made for accounts that we can close and put to bed

Let us strangers be
Pretending we were always thus
And I, some other he
You never knew, and couldn’t see
And hang our failures on the tenuous disguise of “so we must”


We trapped our words in metaphors
Like cellars under metal floors
And thus we scoured
Oft for hours
Plucking, carelessly, the flowers
Asking, “What are petals for?”

We painted sighs in shades of blue
Like summer skies in graves of dew
And looked for woes to
Seek and go through
Disappeared, the words, “I know you”
Like the heart I gave to you

We crafted cradles made to fail
As huts of straw beneath the hail
And thus we cowered
Hopes devoured
Seeing sweetness slowly soured
Asking, “How can we prevail?”

We made our peace in silent war
Like melodies we, violent, tore
From passive yearnings
Wounds of learning
Fires fed with letters burning
Glass we used to bind the sore

We hid our fear in faces brave
Like flowers placed on nameless graves
And mourned the meeting
Sweet, but fleeting
Eyes prepared for frigid greetings
Lips afraid to say, “We can’t be saved”


I stacked a hundred stones
And tried to shrug away the pain
When looking down I saw how much my fingers bled

I merely set to shaping them
Arranging them to patterns
Til they mirrored all the words I should’ve said

Sometimes they start to tumble
And I hang my head in sorrow
But I start again, without an ounce of dread

And tell myself eventually
The labor will be worth it:
All the time and tears I tirelessly shed

It’s tedious and toilsome
And yet, I just continue
Knowing some of it will tumble from the ridge

But if this is the avenue
That leads me back to you
I’ll never stop until I finally build a bridge