Intimation

I’m blind and so I blink
I’m bored and so I drink
I’ve not a word to say
And so I write them all in ink

I’m empty so I take
I’ve naught and so I make
I’ve not forgotten much
And so myself I must forsake

I’m numb and so I feel
I’ve much and so I steal
I’m cutting into veins
So I can tell you how to heal

I’m lost and so I wait
I’m luck deciding fate
I’ve so much to destroy
And so I need you to create

I’m yearning, so I say
I’ve nothing to relay
I’m offering you wings
Because I cannot fly away

I’m breaking and it shows
I’ve sacrificed repose
I’m giving up so you
Don’t have to see how the far the darkness truly goes

 

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Care

There’s ants in the kitchen
And bugs in the room
There’s words in my mouth I’ve conditioned to swoon

There’s dust in the corners
And blood on the walls
There’s stands that I’ve taken and ordered to fall

There’s flies in the fixtures
And rats in vents
There’s messages lost in the pictures I sent

There’s ash on windows
And gnats in the air
There’s no way to say, using mere innuendo, “I care”

Run

As though a reflection to pass
Through the loss and exceptions, alas
Where we oft see perfection and lash
Every woeful inspection
As cause for connection
We speed toward rejection and crash

With colors subtracting from view
Like the flaws we abstract and eschew
Til the world has been blackened in hue
And with faltering traction
We cling to our fractions
Til every extraction is blue

As though an obsession we feel
What the words of confession conceal
Every measured discretion we deal
Incrementing concession
We march in procession
Forgetting what lessons were real

So labored instructions become
Just a failing construction to come
So by woeful reduction of some
Do we hold the seduction
Of self-made destruction
And lack the deduction to run

Add

“Take, then, what you will.”
“I will,” you said
“Until there’s naught but nil
And gone and dead and stopped and still
Are all the thoughts you thought would fill
The glass that is your empty heart
So never shall it hope to spill.”

“Take, then, what you would.”
“I would,” you said
“More than I ever should
And by your hand, you sever good
Where my endeavor never could
Repair the fragments of your heart
I heard but never understood.”

“Take, then, what you must.”
“I must,” you said
“Until there’s only dust
And all you have are lonely gusts
Of wind now sewing cold disgust
Within your frail and fading heart
Where yesterday was slowly crushed.”

“Take all that I had,”
“I have,” you said
“The happy and the sad
The meaning, mourning, and the mad
The gleaming, gloom, and all the glad
From this, your gray and idle heart
And nothing, evermore, shall ever add.”

Sentiment

Dead and cold
Skin
Is leaden, old,
When,
In dread, I’m told
I’m led and sold
By this
Regret I hold

I persist…
Descend
A lifeless tryst
To end
Goodbye, Mistress
Should I insist
Of you
A final kiss
And if so…
When?

Life is still,
New…
Strife and ills:
True.
Knife and pills…
You…
Might just kill
The light I feel
Few
Strike or heal
My heart
Just like you do

Bloodletting

Sometimes I need to hurt myself to know
If any part of me is still alive
Or maybe just to know I can survive
Or that I have heart and when I’m cut there’s blood to flow
Or maybe I just like to play with knives

Sometimes I need to hurt you just to see
If any part of you was really there
Or maybe just to see what you can bare
Or if, when you get injured, you still bleed the same as me
Or maybe it’ll prove you really care

Sometimes I need to hurt so I can tell
If any part of me is really real
Or maybe just to see if I can feel
Or just to see how far away I am from being well
Or if there’s something left in me to heal

Sometimes I need to hurt and so do you
And maybe that’s the reason that we try
To see if we can make the other cry
Or maybe to connect through all the pain we’ve suffered through
Or maybe we just realized that bleeding out was faster than goodbye

Still

I loved you like a holiday
Those days, I never celebrate at all
I died the day you called to say
That every minute spent with you was nothing but a stall

I sought you like a summer day
Those days, I never even leave the room
I stayed to watch you run away
But every day before you did, I knew you would, and soon

I held you like a setting sun
Those moments, I have never tried to see
I told myself that letting one
Within would only guarantee they’d slowly die with me

I lost you like a solemn prayer
Those words, I’ve never spoken…never will
I’ve flown away and fallen where
This heart of mine that never heals can be forever still