Undone

Just wonder why today, a little longer
I’ll promise you the apathy
Beyond tomorrow doesn’t seem as cold
If you can trace a set of eyes
Beneath the veins that half-agree
With all the reasons why we to ourselves are never told

If we can learn to scrape the absolution
Beneath the bleeding callouses
And keep them under fingernails of wrath
Or swallowing the lost goodbyes
Like gasoline in chalices
Our leper souls don’t hurt as much when pain is half the reason that we laugh

So pause, forevermore, a little while
I swear the growing emptiness
That settles like the sun is warmer still
If you can hold it softly by
The throat as if a lover less
And merely what was meant to thus succumb and gently kill

With looks of dead affection growing feral
The creases of affinity
A coffin made for shadows of the sun
That’s sealed below the straining ties
And shackled like an enemy
We whisper in its ear, “It’s only meaningful if it can be undone…”

Hurt

Everybody loves it when you smile
No one ever wants to see you cry
So dry your eyes in secret
Dig a hole of sweet denial
And pretend your world of woe is apple pie

Everybody loves it when you’re pretty
No one wants your ugliness around
So hide your every blemish
Show the world you’re always witty
And conceal your cuts and bruises with a gown

Everybody loves it when you’re laughing
No one ever wants to hear you scream
So paint a perfect smile
One that’s made for photographing
When you tell the world that life is but a dream

Everybody loves it when you’re funny
No one ever wants you to complain
So let them see you chuckle
With a disposition sunny
And inject your breaking world with novacaine

Everybody loves it when you’re lying
No one wants the pain that truth asserts
So keep it all a secret
Like the tears that you’ve been crying
Because no one wants to know how much it hurts

Measurement

The measurement of time
I try to put it into rhyme
As much as what it meant
I try to put to sleep

Commensuration folds
As surely as the hand that holds
And though I still lament
I now refuse to weep

The measurement of wants
Becomes a count of merely once
Because I know intent,
It simply doesn’t keep

And yet I still remain
Without catharsis and in vain
Upon my heart a dent
That makes it hard to sleep

The measurement of me
I wonder, how much do you see
How much is confident
Compared to what is weak?

And how much do I dare
Believe I can and truly share
When if I do repent
It doesn’t mean you’ll speak

But maybe that’s the price
Of knowing that I don’t suffice
And when away you went
I tried to turn a cheek

On measurements required
For the heart that I desired
But when love is spent
What heaven can I seek?

Predictions

I’d never dare assert I’m always right
But less than what I am, I wish I were
I tire of predictions meeting visions recondite
When theory slowly turns to being sure

How sad it is to know the end result
And watch as others see a change in course
While I behold a boulder flying from a catapult
A destination certain as the source

I’d never dare assert I’m never wrong
But more than what I am, I wish to be
I saw the end result like I see lyrics in a song
Lacking any change or mystery

The place we ended up, I saw it first
I knew before you even thought the words
As if a mere recital from a speech you’d well-rehearsed
The signs of your departure long assured

Association

The cards were never certain
Nor the price of sacrifice
When by exchanging bits of life
In hopes of finding newer versions
We see enemies in this negotiation

The gold that we exchange
For only blinks of what we think
Are merely drops of any drink
From a solution growing strange
Within the tainted cup of us in this relation

The table’s ever turning
Do we see what we could be
Or merely poison in the tea
And where the cigarette was burning
Thinking far too often of the missed elation

Cards, I’ve had enough
It’s getting old, and I so I fold
I’d rather say what need be told
And let the words come as a rush
In my lament of losing this association

 

Tetanus

When did life
Become a rusted knife
A world so negatively rife
That tries to cut away what’s best in us?

When did I
Become another lie
The voice atop a visage shy
And every failing seems like just enough?

When did we
Become a tearful plea
For closeness to become a sea
That silences the truths we’d best discuss?

When did you
Become the person who
Was nothing like the one I knew
By opting for a path of lessened trust?

When did this
Become where I exist
Where rusted blades can slowly twist
And every blessing turns to tetanus?

Idyllic

Remember us as paragons
When all the days we share have gone
Awry, and leave us staring long
With visages, now wary, drawn,
And tired from the cares upon
Our shoulders that we carried long

Recall that we were something real
When dead we are, from wounds surreal
And injuries we thought would heal
But waited, did we, just until
The perfect moment to appeal
But saw, too late, the fate we sealed

Imagine us as incomplete
Where wants are brimming, needs are fleet
And what we lack is most replete
Where hopes and sorrows oft compete
Beneath a sun that offers sleet
And life and dreams don’t often meet

Imagine us as something pure
As I do now, and thus assure
Each injury of mine, you cure
With gentle words, and hands secure
And visage borne of such allure
How could I ever wish I wasn’t yours?

Leaves

I asked, “Now, do you see them –
So detached, the fallen leaves when,
Lacking catching hands, are free, then,
To, at last, be as the eve and
Enter this – their mausoleum?”

I said, “We oft reflect them
Spiraling in soft dejection
Silent, falling introspection
Adding selves to the collection
To decay like an infection.”

You said, “I cannot see it
Or, at least, do not believe it
Disconnected, I’ll concede, if
Still perfect, and even scenic
As is life, to lines, between it.”

You asked, “Do you see merely
Broken worlds, all gray and dreary
Gone so deaf, you cannot hear me
When I tell you now, and clearly
Fallen leaves, we aren’t nearly.”

I said, “How can you say so
When it’s you, who broke my halo
Gifted wounds, so very fatal
Bleeding in my earthen cradle
Begging, ‘help me,’ and you say no.”

You said, “And me, you lied to
When, to you, I came to cry to
And so thought I could rely, you
Gave me cause to thus deny you
After all the truths I pried through.”

I said, “I feared rejection
Equally, I craved connection,
I knew little of affection
So I amplified protection
Hoping I’d be your selection.”

You said, “And so you lost me
And my trust, and so you cost me
Just as much by acting falsely –
You are not a leaf that softly
Fell away, you were a bridge that tried to cross me.”

Bias

Some wars are just battles
Some battles are wars
Some wins are just losses
That hide behind scores

Some lies are dishonest
Some honesty lies
Some truths are excuses
That cover our eyes

Some people are villains
Some villains are friends
Some friends are the wounds
Even time cannot mend

Some words are just reasons
Some reasons are real
Some truth yet remains
In the lie that my heart doesn’t feel

Specificity

Your actions convey
You’re running away
Meanwhile, your lips remain still

I try to inquire
My only desire
Is hearing you say how you feel

I don’t understand
I offer a hand
You push it away and retreat

I ask for answer
You treat me like cancer
With words that are never concrete

I follow along
I know that it’s wrong
But so is not saying goodbye

My actions are screaming
I know that I’m dreaming
To think that you’ll break before I

My actions convey
I want you to stay
I know that you know it and though

With only assertion
I won’t see desertion
Or yes in the absence of no