Bloodletting


Sometimes I need to hurt myself to know
If any part of me is still alive
Or maybe just to know I can survive
Or that I have heart and when I’m cut there’s blood to flow
Or maybe I just like to play with knives

Sometimes I need to hurt you just to see
If any part of you was really there
Or maybe just to see what you can bare
Or if, when you get injured, you still bleed the same as me
Or maybe it’ll prove you really care

Sometimes I need to hurt so I can tell
If any part of me is really real
Or maybe just to see if I can feel
Or just to see how far away I am from being well
Or if there’s something left in me to heal

Sometimes I need to hurt and so do you
And maybe that’s the reason that we try
To see if we can make the other cry
Or maybe to connect through all the pain we’ve suffered through
Or maybe we just realized that bleeding out was faster than goodbye

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Hurt


Everybody loves it when you smile
No one ever wants to see you cry
So dry your eyes in secret
Dig a hole of sweet denial
And pretend your world of woe is apple pie

Everybody loves it when you’re pretty
No one wants your ugliness around
So hide your every blemish
Show the world you’re always witty
And conceal your cuts and bruises with a gown

Everybody loves it when you’re laughing
No one ever wants to hear you scream
So paint a perfect smile
One that’s made for photographing
When you tell the world that life is but a dream

Everybody loves it when you’re funny
No one ever wants you to complain
So let them see you chuckle
With a disposition sunny
And inject your breaking world with novacaine

Everybody loves it when you’re lying
No one wants the pain that truth asserts
So keep it all a secret
Like the tears that you’ve been crying
Because no one wants to know how much it hurts

Measurement


The measurement of time
I try to put it into rhyme
As much as what it meant
I try to put to sleep

Commensuration folds
As surely as the hand that holds
And though I still lament
I now refuse to weep

The measurement of wants
Becomes a count of merely once
Because I know intent,
It simply doesn’t keep

And yet I still remain
Without catharsis and in vain
Upon my heart a dent
That makes it hard to sleep

The measurement of me
I wonder, how much do you see
How much is confident
Compared to what is weak?

And how much do I dare
Believe I can and truly share
When if I do repent
It doesn’t mean you’ll speak

But maybe that’s the price
Of knowing that I don’t suffice
And when away you went
I tried to turn my cheek

On measurements required
For the heart that I desired
But when love is spent
What heaven can I seek?

Predictions


I’d never dare assert I’m always right
But less than what I am, I wish I were
I tire of predictions meeting visions recondite
When theory slowly turns to being sure

How sad it is to know the end result
And watch as others see a change in course
While I behold a boulder flying from a catapult
A destination certain as the source

I’d never dare assert I’m never wrong
But more than what I am, I wish to be
I saw the end result like I see lyrics in a song
Lacking any change or mystery

The place we ended up, I saw it first
I knew before you even thought the words
As if a mere recital from a speech you’d well rehearsed
The signs of your departure long assured

Association


The cards were never certain
Nor the price of sacrifice
When by exchanging bits of life
In hopes of finding newer versions
We see enemies in this negotiation

The gold that we exchange
For only blinks of what we think
Are merely drops of any drink
From a solution growing strange
Within the tainted cup of us in this relation

The table’s ever turning
Do we see what we could be
Or merely poison in the tea
And where the cigarette was burning
Thinking far too often of the missed elation

Cards, I’ve had enough
It’s getting old, and I so I fold
I’d rather say what need be told
And let the words come as a rush
In my lament of losing this association

 

Tetanus


When did life
Become a rusted knife
A world so negatively rife
That tries to cut away what’s best in us?

When did I
Become another lie
The voice atop a visage shy
And every failing seems like just enough?

When did we
Become a tearful plea
For closeness to become a sea
That silences the truths we’d best discuss?

When did you
Become the person who
Was nothing like the one I knew
By opting for a path of lessened trust?

When did this
Become where I exist
Where rusted blades can slowly twist
And every blessing turns to tetanus?

Idyllic


Remember us as paragons
When all the days we share have gone
Awry, and leave us staring long
With visages, now wary, drawn,
And tired from the cares upon
Our shoulders that we carried long

Recall that we were something real
When dead we are, from wounds surreal
And injuries we thought would heal
But waited, did we, just until
The perfect moment to appeal
But saw, too late, the fate we sealed

Imagine us as incomplete
Where wants are brimming, needs are fleet
And what we lack is most replete
Where hopes and sorrows oft compete
Beneath a sun that offers sleet
And life and dreams can never meet

Imagine us as something pure
As I do now, and thus assure
Each injury of mine, you cure
With gentle words, and hands secure
And visage borne of such allure
How could I ever wish I wasn’t yours?