Disappointment

I cannot disappoint you if I go
If all I leave are dying fields
And flowers ever snow concealed
Then pain, because of me, you’ll never know

I cannot hurt your feelings if I leave
If all that’s left are empty frames
Where pictures were, but none remain
Then tears behind your eyes I’ll never weave

I cannot make you cry if I depart
If all the words just disappear
So it’s like I was never here
Then numb to me would be your beating heart

I cannot hold you down if I move on
If I submit and walk away
And just agree there’s naught to say
Except, “I was a fool to stay.”
I cannot disappoint you if I’m gone.

Substance

Do we travel lightly
In the passage of a world that seeks to bury us?

Do we weigh our fortune
On the boat as cold Charron would seek to ferry us

There to new horizons that are desolate and fading
That are pulling us to waters dark where souls are left to wading
And there’s no one there to hold or carry us?

Do we question reason
When it’s sold as but a vestige we can quaintly drink?

Do we carry brightly all our carrion convictions
As if flickers in the caverns where our blessings sink?

Do we offer gently
Of our hearts like dandelions in the winding wind?

Do we walk a passage
To the places that we end, or back where we begin?

Do we promise truly of a self that isn’t honest
In a world where every night is just a day we give as homage
Like a guarantee we know that we’ll rescind

Do we, absent reason,
Hold the torch of old lament as if an answer true?

Do we choose to carry imperfection moving forward
Or do we merely look at our reflections and say, “Who the fuck are you?”

Styx

I’m holding you like broken glass
Inhaling you like smoke, alas
I’m soaking wounds in salt
“It’s all my fault”
I say in chokes and gasps
And all the while holding fast
Though why I never to know

I cling to you like rusted nails
My palms and fingers cut, impaled
Then dipped in kerosene
“I’m too unclean”
I scream and clutch to hell
But dream of you so much I fail
To fight the death below

I clutch you like a swarm of bees
My blood on fire, organs seize
Then into waters cast
“I’ll never last”
My voice a storm of pleas
And still, for you, I’m on my knees
My cries, regrets bestow

I need you like the blood I lost
When I decided “fuck the cost”
And sold my broken soul
“Just make me whole”
I said, “I’d gladly cross
Through glass and nails and bees and frost
To try to let you go…”