Memories

We sift through sand at times
Fingers looking for grains that either won’t slip
Or else
For grains that we need to see fall away
But days from now
…Weeks from now
… …Years from now
On days where we look back at beaches where we feared to swim
And talk of days we never dared to dream
We remember moons on cloudy nights
And suns when storms are at their worst
We see the sharpened edges dull
And the imperfect moments honed
Until they are so sharp
The only thing they can do is cut
So much nostalgia
…Rose-colored glasses
Memories of lipstick where lips never lived
And words never breathed
But memory is like that
We hold on to the things we want to keep
And we let the other things fall away
So what we’re left with is an
Imperfect r
ecollection
Of imperfect events
Like putting a pretty frame
Around a lonely picture
With burnt edges
Hiding the places that hurt
Saving the ones that didn’t
Keeping the grains
And forsaking the hourglass
Looking so lovingly at those hazy mirrors
For the reflections that never really were
And hoping to see them again
Because that’s what memories are
The hoping for yesterday
In a world filled with nothing but tomorrows


I don’t normally do free-verse. If you follow me, you know this. Anywho…here’s a free-verse poem because…reasons…¬†

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Refrain

The days are fading out
Much like a stranger’s name
Who spoke to me, but what about
I can’t seem to retain
And so I cast my fears in doubt
And wounds of you, I lie and try to claim
No longer growing tender

My will is slipping down
Much like a lover’s gaze
And sits as heavy as a crown
Made of forgotten days
And so in bottles do I drown
And hear the words I never heard you say
Two years ago, November

The time is growing thin
Much like a starving soul
Like leaves within a tired wind
And parchment full of holes
Like words of “Tell me how you’ve been”
And so replied with silence written bold
Denied: returned to sender

My worry seems to wane
Much like a friendly face
My hands against the window pane
In this, a hollow place
Left haunting like a lost refrain
The one you wish to desperately erase
I hope that you remember

Reticence

I carried water to the stream
And gave it back
And maybe that’s
The best that I could do, or so it seems

I sang a song to ivory keys
That didn’t play
With naught to say
And lacking joy and odes I offered pleas

I gave a sigh unto the wind
And let it go
To…I don’t know
With nothing else to give, I chose to lend

I carried time to yesterday
And held it close
I miss it most
Like all the words I chose to never say

Met

Where there oft-traded grounds of such somber regret
Took to wind and then rain, like a sun, soon to set
To the deepest of places and half-hidden faces
Like nights in the furthest removed oubliette

So I saw, as if words that I couldn’t forget
But their syllables clashed, like a flawed clarinet
And the music that graces no longer erases
The circular scars of your heart’s cigarette

With a balcony empty, and no Juliet
And a throne lacking warmth with a cold coronet
So the moment replaces a world full of traces
And memories fade to a soft silhouette

So I left, like a whisper from lips that I let
Linger long in a future of failure and fret
That would search for embraces at upending paces
While hoping to once again find where our promises met

Gift

She was fire
Or a spark
Or just Prometheus

I was dire
I was dark
And I was weak to this

I saw an answer to a prayer
Where I’d believed for all my life that none was there
And felt a warmth that laid my feelings bare
Where for so long I’d lost the will to care

She was faithful
She was real
Or just a reverie

I was wasteful
And concealed
The wounds that severed me

I saw a candle in the clouds
Where I’d believed that light could never be allowed
And felt the warmth of it beneath the shroud
Where long I hid with head forever bowed

She was clever
She was kind
She offered sympathy

She was never
Really mine
I hide her name
In little rhymes
Her fleeting presence in my life –
It was a gift to me

Keepsake

I still have every word you’ve said
It’s all that I have left of you
But don’t remember why
I can’t recall the day when they were new
But still I’m filled with dread
For if I let them go, the memories would die

I still have everything I wrote
A little stack of fading ink
That should have never dried
I don’t know what exactly made me think
That merely with a note
I could explain this heart of mine I often hide

I still have every message sent
Like ghosts of who we might’ve been
But never could become
Merely the relics left to think of when
I said what I had meant
Within a moment where I didn’t feel as numb

I still have nothing left of you
Just moments that I can’t reclaim
And words I should’ve said
But I know words could never stop the rain
Or change what isn’t true
Into the wish of you and I within my head

Recollection

I wish I could have met you
Before I thought I knew you
And let myself forget you
Before I ever wondered who you are

I wish you could forget that
You long ago forgot me
And let me not regret that
Holding you is how I got these scars