I’m waiting at the table you reserved
And folding you a paper rose
It’s more than you deserve
I see the sign is turned to close
…With lost nerve

My offerings are burning in your stead
I’m tracing arrows near the sores
And dimming shades of red
If all these faded words are yours
…Your heart’s lead

I’m standing at the station where you were
A ticket back to yesterday
I bought when I was sure
I’d never see you there and say
…You’re not her

My eyelids never let me look ahead
I’m waiting like I always planned
To meet you where I said
“I followed and I followed and
…Your heart led”


Elixir, that you were
I took a drink
My armor, insecure
Perhaps you were
Or else you found
The weakest link

And perfect as you seem
I had to think
Perhaps you were a dream
Or the extreme
That I was bound
To hold and follow till I sink

Afflicted as you are
Upon the brink
My vision, black as tar
My world a scar
And we a sound
I heard in sync

Imperfect and impure
As blurring ink
With you, feigning demure
Seeming a cure
Beneath a crown
I held you like insomnia would hold a blink


Just wonder why today, a little longer
I’ll promise you the apathy
Beyond tomorrow doesn’t seem as cold
If you can trace a set of eyes
Beneath the veins that half-agree
With all the reasons why we to ourselves are never told

If we can learn to scrape the absolution
Beneath the bleeding callouses
And keep them under fingernails of wrath
Or swallowing the lost goodbyes
Like gasoline in chalices
Our leper souls don’t hurt as much when pain is half the reason that we laugh

So pause, forevermore, a little while
I swear the growing emptiness
That settles like the sun is warmer still
If you can hold it softly by
The throat as if a lover less
And merely what was meant to thus succumb and gently kill

With looks of dead affection growing feral
The creases of affinity
A coffin made for shadows of the sun
That’s sealed below the straining ties
And shackled like an enemy
We whisper in its ear, “It’s only meaningful if it can be undone…”


The silent place where shadows sift
Through dust of ours in caverns clearly sealed
Where the motes of meaning seem to settle less than drift
As if defiant of the thoughts they might reveal

With eyes upon a picture blank
Where once, I could have sworn, an image was
Seems now an empty ocean, all the memories have sank
As if the sun into the night – it always does

The places left to see are lost
Beneath the precipice of what’s to come
For waves or recollection are now wearing sheets of frost
Until the many roads reduce to only some

With knuckles white as winter storms
Where nothing seems to indicate a choice
So do I sit in silence, as I seem to listen for
A past reminder of your once forgiving voice


We trapped our words in metaphors
Like cellars under metal floors
And thus we scoured
Oft for hours
Plucking, carelessly, the flowers
Asking, “What are petals for?”

We painted sighs in shades of blue
Like summer skies in graves of dew
And looked for woes to
Seek and go through
Disappeared, the words, “I know you”
Like the heart I gave to you

We crafted cradles made to fail
As huts of straw beneath the hail
And thus we cowered
Hopes devoured
Seeing sweetness slowly soured
Asking, “How can we prevail?”

We made our peace in silent war
Like melodies we, violent, tore
From passive yearnings
Wounds of learning
Fires fed with letters burning
Glass we used to bind the sore

We hid our fear in faces brave
Like flowers placed on nameless graves
And mourned the meeting
Sweet, but fleeting
Eyes prepared for frigid greetings
Lips afraid to say, “We can’t be saved”


Tell me time had flown away
To places far from where we meant to go
Hidden in the branches of a sycamore that sways
Or left to bloom in coming spring, as if a seed beneath the snow

Say the tremble in your voice
Was nothing but a sign that you were cold
That you, long ago, already made your greatest choice
And placed it deep within your heart for nothing else would seem to hold

Take from me the wondering
The questions that would plague me even now
Drifting through the void as if a storm was thundering
But rain was like an answer you infer but always disallow

Give me but a moment then
To let, upon your world, my vision dwell
Knowing if I do, I’ll just return… again, again
For like a secret on my lips, you are the words I yearn to keep but fear to tell


We wore down the edges of worry
With hands in our pockets and answers that never aligned
Through forests and fields
We concealed and we hurried
And promised to build up a kingdom with half-given time

You spoke with the tone of surrender
With fingers impressing their tips into parts of my soul
You chose not to speak
As if weak, or just tender
And left me to seek out the end to the story you told

I walked on the roads of delusion
With visions of you in the sky and the sun on my back
In search of a fate
To abate the seclusion
I chose to create to replace all the virtues I lack

So here’s to the loss of the future
The trails of tomorrow where shadows and silences crash
The theories and lies
Are the flies in our sutures
We built with our eyes looking far from our possible past


Like bread crumbs
The dread comes
I walk along a path of gravel
Knowing surely, all I have will
Scatter far and wide along the long and endless tide
Of hills and valleys, blended hues
And then compressed into the images of you

Like whispers
We disperse
I mark the passages with pebbles
Scattered in the wind like treble
Notes and melodies and haunting hopes for elegies
Or just a momentary lapse
Of reason, even if it’s sure to be the last

Like goodbye
I could cry
I watch the snow and sleet envelop
All the paths that won’t develop
On the lonely path that now is marked with only wrath
And little arrows lacking note
Not so unlike the heart to you I still devote


Seeing not a ticket price
And lacking more and more a civil cause
When no reasons thus suffice
To further give myself another pause

Knowing not of heads or tails
A coin of reason resting on its side
Sadly, that’s when faults prevail
And boundaries I struggle to abide

Listening for a decree
Or else a symbol given to explain
Telling me to follow free
Or else to say in this I should refrain

Say the word and see me cease
Or else I’ll not leave good enough alone
Speak the truth or hold your peace
Or soon I fear we’ll both be throwing stones


I watched horizons disappear
Behind a chalice filled to over full
With all the things I’m missing here
And eyes securely under wool
Intoxicated by the pull
Of last when you were near

I martyred much to discontent
Beneath a shield of caution gone too far
Where every path of missed lament
And shallow pain bereft of scar
Was set to end in ash and tar
From words I never meant

I looked for you to reappear
The way the morning sun is prone to do
With words to gently guide and veer
A passage up and hitherto
A what I should have given you
Too late is finally clear

I lost the most to keep the least
For minutes of what might have given years
And all the while, odds decreased
When faith in you was lost to fear
And truth was left a trail of tears
But in my heart, you’ve yet to be released