Elixir, that you were
I took a drink
My armor, insecure
Perhaps you were
Or else you found
The weakest link

And perfect as you seem
I had to think
Perhaps you were a dream
Or the extreme
That I was bound
To hold and follow till I sink

Afflicted as you are
Upon the brink
My vision, black as tar
My world a scar
And we a sound
I heard in sync

Imperfect and impure
As blurring ink
With you, feigning demure
Seeming a cure
Beneath a crown
I held you like insomnia would hold a blink


How was it I drown beneath the waves of your delight
And held upon my shoulders Saturn when you held the moon at night?
Where were all the meanings that were laced between your fingers
Like the glow of fading fireflies that danced upon the edges of our sight?

How was it I failed wherein the fault was neither I
Or even you in these precarious delusions we deny
Where we wore our hands as if a mask afraid of seeing
In a land of pale tomorrows and a yesterday where emptiness is nigh?

Tell me why my fingers are still slipping on the ridge
Of your illusory, imperfect implications like a bridge
Tell me why I hold them like a funeral procession
And I still proceed to keep the dying parts of me for you within a fridge

Tell me when forever doesn’t mean what I believed
When I and you and we together weren’t merely souls deceived
Tell me the remembrance wasn’t just a dead illusion
Like an effigy we built upon a pyre of derision with a fire made of flaws that we perceived


In the wake of what we plan
Where nothing grows and nothing can
And all the acres left between us
Span the world and what they mean was
Every tiny piece of worth we feared to ever feel was left to die

Slow and slim – a sallow crest
And labored lungs in hollowed chest
That uttered something named redemption
In a world too dark to mention
Speaking still of here and now and there and then but never you or I

Or the words we thus divorce
With tilted heads and missing force
That slip between the vacant chances
That we claimed were circumstances
Moving with a wind that we could never hope to change unless we try

Something more than grains of care
And guarantees of “I’ll be there”
For what we mean, we say a fraction
Calling love an old attraction
Resting on a lonely road where stoically we just pretend it didn’t hurt to know we passed it by


How do we say goodbye
With x and o in colored ink?
With tiny hearts atop our i’s
With semicolon eyes to form a wink?

With words that never say
The very thing they’re written for?
A quaint regard to help convey
The lie that later on there may be more?

How do we mark the end
With periods we set in threes?
With phrases like, “well, it depends,”
And “maybe later on, we’ll have to see…”

With hollow, heavy sighs
And blood upon our fingertips?
How are we to say goodbye
When no one ever seems to say it with their lips?


I tried to hold the end at bay
With only fingers wearing ink of no regard
Like twine around a dead bouquet
And slipping through like bits of ash from where it charred

Was breathing out the come what may
Through the lips I varnished mad with ardent ties
But don’t you see, it’s all okay
As long as all your favorite comets never die

That’s how the pieces seem to weigh
Like silver shavings on a scale that’s rusted still
With tinsel on the pale today
And metaphors for how we love and always will

But words between the ones I say
Seem to always be the louder of the sounds
Wish I could send the sun away
So then the moon won’t even know that I’m around


Left of north and right of east
Where less amour delivered least
And leaving something left of south
The taste of metal in my mouth

As if upon an iron crest
My dying tongue had just caressed
Or maybe only briefly brushed
Enough to see what’s left of us

Down from up and west of well
Where skies were pitch and life was hell
And holding something right of west
The loss of you within my chest

As if an anchor now removed
So writhing veins were now reproved
Or maybe that’s just how it felt
When taken from my lips
The taste of you
That could have made the winter melt


I’ll never turn my back and leave you lost in scenes of red
After all, I made the cut that left me walking dead
Where my feet were anchors in the sludge of what I said
With answers made of daggers
Watching logic as it staggers
And my heart removed by miles from my head

I’ll never leave you wandering in fields of failing green
After all, I made the map that lead me from the dream
Where your words of silence, I accepted as a scream
And meaning, growing narrow,
Did I clutch as if an arrow
In my heart to write in blood how much you mean

I’ll never wander farther from the tether of your sight
After all, I made the wound or else I made the slight
That kept your feet from moving on the path I knew was right
But held the consolation
Of your warmth in conservation
Like a firefly where life was never bright

You’d never turn your back on me, or so I always thought
After all, we made the effort. Was it all for naught?
Now within the swamp of trepidation am I caught
With little more than questions
In a world of dead suggestions
And I wonder if I merely paid the toll for all the bridges that you sought


“Is the road between us wide enough?”
I asked and asked again
And took another step
Another step
Another step and then

“Is the space between us far enough?”
I asked, but couldn’t hear
You give an answer so
With every step
I watched you disappear

“Is the gap between us deep enough?
I hope as I descend
It’s just another step
And maybe just
Another step and then

You’ll finally say, “That’s far enough,”
But far too far from here
For me to hear and so
I take a step
Another step
And ask, “If I go far enough, can someday far be traded out for near?”


The way I check for words of you with every message chime
The way I hold your memory like candles in a shrine
The words, “For just a part of you, I’d trade all that was mine.”
The way my vision blurs when hopes and truths cannot align

The sigh that’s like an elegy when light is in decline
The pretense of a smile when, in sorrow, I resign
The way the letters stutter when I pen the name of thine
You ask me how I am, my lips betray my weary eyes and say, “I’m fine…”


The bucket in the well
I cast it down and down again
And pulled it up and up and up
And saw it held there, like an antidote
A prayer pressed through dying lips
That couldn’t say, “Amen”

While drinking down in gulps
The worried sentences I wove
That moved around and ’round and ’round
And like a needle on a record does
I echoed your departing steps
Through this, an empty grove

And tracing, like a filament
That never found its place
There in between the in-between
The interstices that I fled
As if your soul was made of flight
And I was never keeping pace

But searching now with fingers worn
In tides of weeping sand
That echo further now and further now
Where tracks you never left
I focus on the light you radiate
And float upon the surface of an ocean made of you
And wonder if I’ll ever end up finding land